talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
