I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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