I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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