Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
