Cold hands, warm shart.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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