Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize