it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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