He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
