That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
