and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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