Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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