did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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