Can i not drive my cunt home
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
