I swear god or herbie drove my car home
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize