Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
