Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize