I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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