Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
