I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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