quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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