i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
