I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
