i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we're making bets on your personal life
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
