Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I can't turn off my feet"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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