my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
