I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
