you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
