i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
