did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
