i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
