I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
