She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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