Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
