I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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