Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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