Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
