Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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