Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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