Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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