The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
