I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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