That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize