dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
