I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize