so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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