just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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