i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
