she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
