the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize