:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
