Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize