I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize