That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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