I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
