Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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